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Hey there and welcome back to another episode of the profitable mindset podcast.

Welcome to the profitable mindset. A show dedicated to teaching you the skills you need to build a profitable product based business that makes you feel free and fully and control. Here is your host, Charlotte Smith. Hey you guys, welcome to episode number

33 of the profitable mindset podcast titled three breakthrough secrets to getting out of overwhelm on your farm. I love working with you all every day, whether that’s in my private practice or in my groups, guiding and watching you go from overwhelm to finally feeling in control or from feeling stress and anxiety and doubt and a lack of confidence to finally feeling confident and focused and empowered. So yes, you can learn to do these things. These are learned skills to get out of overwhelm. And one thing I want to mention is that overwhelm doesn’t go away on its own. You have to actively get rid of it. So I’ve got a training for you today that’s going to explain what’s going on in your brain and give you some ideas to help you. Plus, you can always work with me either one-on-one in my private practice or on a group coaching call.

We’ve got another one coming up on June 10th. All right, so let me dive into the three breakthrough secrets. First of all, I want you to imagine a life where you’re not feeling guilty all the time or frustrated or you’re not, uh, angry because a customer said something or you got a nasty email. Uh, imagine a life where you finally have life balance or imagine waking up and not wondering, is this all there is? Is this what our farm life is gonna look like for the next 20 or 30 years? And instead you wake up and you have immense clarity and focus and motivation, like you jump out of bed in the morning energized and ready to go before the alarm ever goes off. I want to let you know this is totally available to you when you learn the things I talk about today and you practice and you decide you’re going to do this work on yourself.

Okay? What ends up happening is you enjoy your days, you enjoy your business. So my biggest hope and dream is that all of you can finally get out of the negative emotion. You tend to spiral in and decide. You’re going to create just these wonderful feelings, like I said, of empowerment and confidence. Okay? So let me start by telling you that there is nothing outside of you that you need to learn or buy or do that will make you feel better. Feeling better is 100% within your control, and I will show you how. Look at it this way or they give it this way. You are the problem, therefore great news. You’re the solution. Only you can have the solution to feeling better. It’s just wonderful news. You are totally in control of making that happen for yourself. So the three secrets to this are that number one, other people outside of you, other circumstances going on in your life don’t hurt your feelings.

They don’t make you feel mad or guilty or frustrated. Other people, other circumstances can’t make you feel anything. Secret number two, your brain is innocently working against you. A lot of people come to me and say, there’s something wrong with me and my life because I feel overwhelmed all the time. Nope, it’s nothing wrong with you. It is your brain functioning normally. However, I’m going to show you how it is working against you without us even being aware of that. And secret number three, you don’t need to change anything in your life to feel better. You can feel better now, no matter what’s going on in your life. Okay? Stay with me. If you’re really feeling a lot of doubt right now, I just encourage you to put that aside and stay with me because I see this change happen in people who decide to make this change every single day.

And I want it for you too. So in my past I definitely blamed everyone and everything outside of me for my stress and overwhelm. You know, I was at a point in my life where every time someone would say, Hey, how you doing? And I’d be like, Oh, busy. I’m so busy. And at that time, this was many years ago, I didn’t think my husband supported me or believed in me. Uh, I certainly didn’t think he appreciated me and that was affecting my business. And what ends up happening is I would have to distress from all those negative emotions. And my choice of distressing was a glass of wine, which every night almost, which led me to being tired and having low energy and even a darker mood and 15 pounds over weight. And what I felt like was life was all work and no play.

There was nothing enjoyable in my life. I was just waking up and working hard and just, you know, like a grindstone and then trying to unwind at the end of the day, super unfulfilled by work and by life. That was how I used to be. But I want to promise you if this is sounding familiar to you, nothing in your life makes you feel bad when you learn this, when you learn what I learned at that time that helped me, it’s such a great relief. It’s like a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Your, you’ll feel so free. So much freedom. Okay, so let’s talk about number one. Secret number one, thoughts cause feelings. People never do. People don’t frustrate you. People don’t make you mad. The circumstances in your life and the people in your life, your childhood, all of that totally neutral. It’s not running you today.

What happens is you choose a thought about that thing. Maybe you’re, you choose a thought about something that happened in your childhood that makes you mad today. It’s because of the salt you’re choosing today. You can, you can, uh, learn to feel differently about your past so it doesn’t affect you negatively, negatively. Today what happens is our thought creates a feeling in our body thoughts. What they do is they kind of flip a switch that releases chemicals and creates emotions in our body. Then our feelings drive all action. Or in the case of some feelings, like overwhelm or doubt often drives inaction. So feelings drive your actions and then our actions create our results in life. So it all starts with a thought. Your thoughts create your feelings. Nothing else in your life is creating your feelings. You are doing that, you’re responsible for doing that.

For instance, some people will tell me, ah, the price I have to, I need to charge higher prices and people in my area won’t pay it. And I am so frustrated and they live in this frustration day in and day out. But what I want to tell you is the price you have to charge for your products is a totally neutral fact. It’s just a fact. You got to charge a price that covers the expenses and builds in a profit margin of anywhere from 30 to 50% that is a neutral fact. It can’t make you feel anything until you have a thought about it. And what most people are thinking about is, Oh, I feel so bad charging this price, which makes you feel guilt or in confident or doubt or even frustrated. So that’s an example of how that thought created that feeling. So what do you want to choose?

Do you want to feel confident about your prices? Just know that that is totally available to you. Most of us believe that things in our life make us feel bad. And what that means is if you think that you don’t know the power in our own thinking, we and only we have control over our feelings. Okay? Here’s another example. Someone, uh, one, uh, one farmer I work with, she sells out of flowers regularly. She hates getting the texts and emails and the calls saying, you’re out of flowers. Put me on a wait list. When can I get flowers? Can you hold flowers for me? And she came to me saying, when people text me and email me, it makes me feel guilty. I promise you, they aren’t making you feel guilty. They can’t make you feel a feeling. It’s a thought about it, which creates the feeling.

So the thought for this farmer is, ah, I’m out of flowers. I’m going to disappoint people. They’ll be disappointed in me. That feels terrible. That thought feels terrible. But what if you believe that you create the feelings you have and that you are in charge of how you feel? Okay? That’s a belief I work with my clients on to learn to embrace and make that automatic instead of the habitual belief patterns they have of, I feel so bad charging this price. You can learn how to turn that thought around with intention. So when I worked with this farmer, here’s what she gets to now she gets a text. You’re out of flowers. When could I come back? Can you hold me some? Why did you run out? Can I get there early? So in other words, all of those slots used to overwhelm her. But now that she knows that she’s responsible for creating her feelings, she can choose how to think of it.

Thoughts like this, I’ve created amazing demand for my products. This is exactly what I set out to do. When I dreamed of having a farm, I dreamed of having tons of demand for my products and I’ve reached that dream and she feels confident. No more living in guilt. So thoughts create your feelings and just know that we all want to feel good. So what happens is we blame other people in other circumstances for how we feel. But when we do that, we’re giving away all our power to feel better. We give away our responsibility to our own self care. So we’re blaming other people because we’re feeling bad and in the process, we’re not making ourselves feel better. We can’t, we can’t help ourselves as long as we think other people and other circumstances in our childhood and our past is causing our pain today.

Okay, let’s go to number two. Your brain is conditioned for survival. All right? So the survival part of your brain, it’s given you all these habitual thoughts is working just fine. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that we haven’t learned how to manage it. So that’s what I teach my clients. How to manage this part of your brain that’s conditioned for survival. It does this through the motivational triad. All right? So you are kept alive because your brain tells you to do three things, seek pleasure, avoid pain, and preserve your energy or expend minimal energy so you have energy to defend yourself and stay alive. So hundreds of years ago, this served us. We had, we were constantly, uh, motivated to hunt and gather and grow and nurture our families and our bodies were, we were motivated to eat a lot of food when it was available and store fat for the times it wasn’t available.

We are motivated to rest so that we can defend ourselves. We’re motivated to reproduce and look for pleasure and this guarantees our survival. Now, what’s going on though is today we have the same brain, but we have a different environment. When you’re working with a brain that tells you constantly to eat and store fat, except there’s no times of famine in our culture today, we struggle with that word. It’s causing us big problems today. All right? We used to have so much less palpable pleasure in our world and now it’s everywhere, but it’s artificial pleasure. You know, it’s like jumping on the internet, jumping on Facebook or Instagram. It used to serve us to survive pleasure, you know, taking, doing pleasurable things in our day and making sure we were motivated to find time for those a hundred years ago served us in today’s world though in our environment.

Pleasure is all around us. It is a click or a swipe away and it’s killing us today. But our survival brain doesn’t understand this. That’s why you’re still being motivated to seek pleasure even though we have way too much of it. Okay? The other part of that triad is your brain is motivating you to avoid pain. We used to be forced to manage pain. Today it’s very easy to avoid it. So much so that we think we’re supposed to be happy all the time. But in reality, pain is an important part of our humanness. Yet today we think we’re not supposed to suffer. Just jump on social media, jump on TV. You’re told everywhere that you’re not to suffer and here’s something you can buy to fix it. And we get messages that life is about being happy. Oh, you’re not happy. Take this, do this.

But I’m telling you, discomfort is how we grow. Except we’re being motivated to move away from discomfort in our, uh, by our brain. And it’s because of the environment we’re in today. That. Uh, what happens is since we’ve taken away that discomfort or we think it’s wrong, you or maybe your kids are not growing, not developing, not developing the strengths to reach your huge goals because you think it’s supposed to be comfortable. No reaching his goals is supposed to be a struggle. I learned this, you know, I had to learn this the hard way and when I learned it, I embrace struggle and pain now and I want you to do the same. I know it doesn’t sound good now, but stay with me. You’re going to learn that that is so fulfilling. Okay, back to the third part of our motivational triad is our brain telling us to expend minimal energy.

Our brains are designed to be very efficient. They take shortcuts with our thoughts and if we have a thought, it is often relegated to a habitual thought very, very quickly because deliberate is hard. It takes energy. Just think about all the classes you’ve signed up for and you haven’t studied. You haven’t done the homework. You don’t do the work in between coaching sessions. Maybe it’s because deliberate thought is hard and we receive messages on our society and our environment that tells us hard is to be avoided and do this thing to make it easy. So you are motivated internally to not do the things that are going to get you ahead. So again, what I want to tell you, there’s nothing wrong with your brain. It’s working properly. It’s functioning properly. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not lazy. You just haven’t learned that that part of your brain is not serving you today.

That’s what I’m telling. Sharing all this with you today so that you could learn. It’s not serving you. So you’re here to learn to manage it. So like I said, nothing wrong with you. No matter what your brain says. It tells you, don’t take a risk, don’t risk failure. You’re going to look bad. You’re going to feel humiliated. Guess what? Feeling humiliated is one of those steps on the path to huge success. So what’s happening is your survival part of your brain is keeping you small. It’s keeping you not successful. It’s keeping you just complacent. One other thing is I want to let you know that failure only happens in your brain. All right? There is nothing wrong with you. When you fail, your brain causes you negative feelings and this use to serve us to survive. You know, a hundred years ago, a failure could be life threatening.

Today, you have to fail in order to have a successful life and failure only happens in your brain like it. It’s not the big public terrible thing that we make it out to be. That’s all in our head. Yes, you might feel humiliated. Maybe you send out an email with a huge error and you get a lot of email responses back saying you screwed up and you feel humiliated. So what humiliation is the price you pay in that moment for learning how to do it right the next time. Now that you understand this, that failure only happens in your brain. Now you can change it. How you change it is we’ve got to embrace a new motivational triad. I’m going to explain it to you here, and this is what I work with people on every single day. In my coaching practice. What you will want to or need to learn to do if you want success, you want to feel better in life, is you got to learn to allow discomfort and have no false pleasure.

And you’ve got to take massive action until you get results instead of preserving your energy. So what you’re doing is you’re doing the exact opposite of what the survival part of your brain is telling you. It’s hard at first. It gets easy with practice. All of this takes effort. You’ll learn that your prefrontal cortex is how you manage the survival part of your brain. That’s the part of your brain. It’s unique to humans. It’s a decision making part of our brain, and we manage the survival part of our brain that’s telling us to just sit home and jump on Instagram to feel better. You can use your prefrontal cortex to step in and say, Oh, no, no, no, no. We’re not going to sit around and seek false pleasure. We’re going to get to work. We’re going to take massive action. We’re going to feel the negative feelings, humiliation, embarrassment, uh, even physical pain.

And we’re going to reach our big, amazing goals and feel incredible. This takes effort, but I tell you, you can and will feel better without changing anything in your life. I promise you, changing your feelings changes your life. Okay? We take action out of our feelings. The action you take out of doubt or overwhelm or in confidence or frustration is action that does not help you reach your goals with ease or on any timeline that we want in our lives. Okay? Changing your feelings will change your life. When you feel confident, empowered, motivated, strong, competent, focused, you feel like you have clarity. Oh my gosh, there is no stopping you and this is available to you. So know that you cannot control the world outside of you. You can’t control the people in your lives. You can’t control what happened to you as a kid and that’s okay.

You only need to control your mind. You only need to control how you think about these things and with practice thinking thoughts that make you feel amazing will just become the new habit for you. So trying to change the world, the circumstances of people in our lives to feel better. What most of us do is backward and it will never work. Instead, you’ve got to learn to change the way you feel in order to change your results. Okay, you guys, this is what I coach people on every single day, teaching them how to do this. All right? I have two to five clients a day. It’s really fun, amazing life that I get to share what has helped me so much with others. If you’re ready to invest in yourself, your family, invest in your business, all right, go to three count marketing.com forward slash strategy.

That is a free coaching call to decide to invest in coaching. That is for those of you ready to make a change and become successful, have great success in your life, whatever that means to you. For most of us, it’s to feel really good too, and I want to share with you an email I got over the weekend from one of my clients. It was really fun to read and she said I could share it. She said, I can’t believe the difference your coaching made to our sales last year. It took nine months to sell our pork boxes that we sell in the fall. I was had anxiety that whole time trying to get people to buy them. Fast forward after four months of coaching with you, within two hours, all the pork was sold. I can’t thank you enough. Farming can be lonely. I used to drown in self doubt, but since starting coaching with you at the beginning of this year, it has changed everything.

Now I feel confident. I know I have the right tone and content for my audience. The results clearly show up time and time again in our increased sales. Not only are you a fantastic business coach, but you’re life coaching is. That’s part of it has helped me uncover how fear of failure was leading me to make bad decisions. The model you use for changing your thought patterns has literally changed my life. No one can afford to wait. I hope everyone you talk to gets coaching with you now. It’s changed my life forever. So I am so grateful for these messages that have the changes in your life. But what I’m most grateful for is that I got to be a part of that. I got to help you. I got to offer you something that is life changing. So again, go to the free strategy session or um, let me know by email.

I do public coaching calls once a month too. You can get on there and get coached for free. The strategy session though is where you make the decision to finally turn your life around and feel better for ever. So you guys, this stuff lasts two when you, when you learn to change your brain to serve you in the way it can and should today, that is lasting work. All right, so again, that is@threecommarketing.com forward slash strategy. The link will also be in the show notes. And guess what? That’s it for today. I will see you in the next episode.

Thank you so much for tuning in to today’s episode. For more great resources, check out the profitable mindset.com. See you next time.

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