Hey there and welcome back to another episode of The Profitable Mindset podcast.
Get the free checklist: https://www.3cowmarketing.com/selfcare
Welcome to The Profitable Mindset, a show dedicated to teaching you the skills you need to build a profitable product-based business that makes you feel free and fully and control. Here’s your host, Charlotte Smith.
Hey there. Welcome to episode number 25 of The Profitable Mindset podcast, all about self-care. I’m going to share with you today what self-care is and what it’s not. Just know that most people are mistaken in what they think self-care is, so that’s why it’s important to know what it is not. Then I’m also going to explain why we avoid doing it as humans, even though we know we need self-care. I’ll explain what is standing in the way of your self-care practice.
Now, self-care is a big buzzword today. It’s very popular. It seems like everybody’s talking about it. I see people posting about it all the time, all the things that they’re doing to try to practice self-care or the things they wish they were doing. But self-care is actually a very simple system that you do daily to take care of yourself, your mind and your body. It’s mostly free, as in it shouldn’t cost you anything. So spa treatments or gym memberships or all of those big grandiose things you think you should be doing to take care of yourself, it’s actually far simpler and cheaper than that. It’s a process of taking care of yourself at the most very basic level and most of us are sacrificing this today, we’re not doing it. It’s usually a quiet and just intentional process, like brushing your teeth. It just happens automatically every day. It’s habits that you create in care for yourself.
The whole reason I decided to do this episode today is because I get to interact with hundreds of you every single day. Now, sometimes that’s in person when I travel and speak, and of course all the places I am online. What’s happening is when I’m interacting with you, I’m seeing and hearing how many of you could use a little more self-care practice in your life because of the way you’re showing up. I see all these indicators that if you had more self-care, you would feel better. For instance, here are some signs that you might recognize in your own life. Use them as feedback if you recognize them, feedback that you could incorporate more self-care in your days.
One of the signs or some of the signs are, do you find yourself during the day complaining about other people or circumstances, or blaming problems on other people or circumstances? Or maybe you’re defensive a lot of the time or short-tempered or you’re snapping at people, or you hear yourself telling people, “I’m so busy.” Or, “I’m overwhelmed. Or, “Everyone is overwhelming me.” Or, “My farm/business is overwhelming me.” Or, “My kids are overwhelming me.” Maybe you find yourself not following through on your commitments to other people, but especially to yourself. It’s another indicator you’re not practicing self-care.
Like maybe you’re not doing the things you say you’re going to do during the day. You’re not exercising, if that’s what you wanted to commit to. Or maybe you’re not following up on product that you delivered to a potential customer. You’re not making those phone calls. You’re not holding those meetings. You’re not practicing your marketing. You’re not filling the orders. And then what else? The other thing you notice is your to-do list never goes away. It just gets longer and longer and then pretty soon you find yourself blaming your to-do list for overwhelming you. All of these are indicators that you need more self-care.
Okay, here’s another one. Here’s a big one. Is your house a mess? Is your car a mess? Are your vehicles a mess? Is your farm a mess? You guys, these things that so many of us choose to live with every single day are actually indicators that we need to practice more self-care. And the better you take care of yourself in certain areas. I’ll explain what those areas are. Then what will happen is you’ll find yourself not complaining, not feeling overwhelmed, not feeling too busy. Even though you still have the same farm and the same things going on in your life, you will feel so much better. You won’t be defensive, you won’t feel overwhelmed. You’ll just have this wonderful sense of wellbeing and your personal life, your surroundings, your relationships will all start to reflect that you are improving in the area of your self-care too.
Okay, let me pause for a moment. I have a download for you. This is a free checklist for self-care. Be sure to go get it. It’ll help you know that you’re covering all the very basic, simple areas of self-care. That is at 3cowmarketing.com/self-care. Download that. Like I said, it’s free, it’s going to help you.
The reason I want to jump in here and help you with this is because I see so many of you not reaching your goals, not fulfilling your dreams, and eventually just not enjoying your days. So I know this is going to help you. And the other reason I want to help you and can help you, I want you to know that I’ve been through this. Yes, I am trained and educated and certified to teach you all of these things, but better yet it comes from my own experience that I’ve lived this. I have lived years or even decades where I lacked self-care in many areas of my life because probably like you, this really wasn’t modeled for most of us growing up. And my life reflected that I didn’t know how to take care of myself, my basic, basic self.
I was constantly overwhelmed. I was telling people I was too busy, I was complaining, I was snappy and short tempered. I wasn’t completing the things that I said I wanted to do. I would get myself overbooked and then break appointments. I was full of stress and constant anxiety. I was getting sick. The thing is, I have lived this and then I found out the solution. I found this work many years ago, applied it to my own life, and now I get to coach my clients through this every single day and watch them start to feel better. Self-care is something that is mandatory that we do if we want a fulfilling life.
Now, I also want to pause right here and read a review from iTunes too. And I’ve said this before you guys, I’m so honored and I have so much respect for those of you who take the time to leave a review. It means so much to me to know that this podcast is helping you. And when you leave those reviews, that is actually what helps a podcast get shown to other people that it can help too. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.
All right, today’s shout out is to Beale OSU. This five-star review is titled personal and professional growth and says, “If you’re looking for growth in your farm and in your personal life, this podcast is for you. Charlotte is relatable, personal and gives you tangible goals and action steps to help you get there. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us.” Oh my goodness, thank you so much. Like I said, such an honor that you guys take time out of your day to do this and I love reading these reviews online too. They help me know how I’m helping you and what I can focus on that will help you best. Thanks for doing that.
Now let me jump back into self-care. Like I said at the beginning of this episode, it’s pretty trendy today, but most people are missing the boat on what exactly it is because they don’t understand the simplicity of it. Self-care is the foundation from which you’re able to live and create a satisfying life full of wellbeing. When you practice self-care every day, you create this foundation so that the rest of your life can be fulfilling.
Now, what I mean by saying it’s a foundation is it’s not the solution to your problems. It’s not going to solve your problems, but self-care rather is the foundation that then supports you in going out and finding the solution to those problems or even preventing those problems. For instance, self-care won’t bring you customers and money and profit and a supportive spouse, but without self-care you won’t have the foundation so that you will be the person who has a supportive spouse. Or you want have the foundation to have the customers coming to you and willing to pay the prices you need to charge, and without self-care you won’t have the self confidence to even charge the prices you need to have a sustainable, profitable business. All right? So self-care doesn’t make your marriage better and it doesn’t make you more money, but it’s what gives you the internal tools to create an amazing marriage and do the things you know you need to do to be making money. It’s what supports you and it supports you in a way that you have this feeling of wellbeing all day long even when bad things happen. Let me talk about that for a second.
Did you know that life is not supposed to be happy all the time? I know a lot of us in the world today think that that’s why we’re here. We’re just supposed to try to be happy all the time. Or we want our kids to be happy all the time. But here’s what I can tell you. Life is going to be 50% good or happy or joyful about 50% of the time, and then it’s going to be unhappy or times of struggle or bad the other 50% of the time because you can’t have one without the other. That’s just how it is. So if we are striving for 100% happiness, you’re going to be disappointed because that’s not possible. And when you practice self-care, you can have the sense of wellbeing even when you face the struggle, which is inevitable. Just know this, that no matter how much money you ever make in your life or no matter where you live, if you finally live in the perfect spot, your life will always be about 50% good and 50% bad or struggling or challenging.
Maybe you do end up making tons of money in your future a lot more than you make today. What happens is, sure, life will get easier in some areas. Bills will be easier to pay, but the painful struggle parts of life never disappear completely. I can have all the money in the world and still wake up and have disease go through all our chickens or my family or bankruptcy or a house fire or a barn fire. So we’re still going to have stressful things that happen even if we have all the money in the world. But when we have a foundation of self-care in place, it helps us be able to deal with bad things better. That’s how it helps us as it gives us this strong foundation to go out and tackle what ever we’re faced with in life. So when you care for yourself every single day consistently, when you experience that 50% struggle or pain, you know it’s going to be okay, you’ll be able to manage your mindset around it and come out on the other side of that struggle still intact mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Self-cares about that consistent daily monitoring of your personal wellbeing and then practicing some life-giving rituals that you create every single day. What happens once you’re able to do this, you’re finally able to care not only for yourself but everyone and everything else you’ve committed to in both the good times and the bad times. And you will finally start reaching more and more of your goals and your dreams.
Now, let me introduce to you what self-care actually is. I just told you what it’s not. It’s not going out and spending lots of money on massages and facials and running marathons and fancy trips or vacations. It’s the basic daily things that might then allow you to be able to go out and do these things. But it’s very simple things that you do every day in four areas of your life. All right? It comes down to taking care of your physical body in three ways.
The first part of the care for your physical body is your sleep. It’s making sure that you’re getting enough sleep and it’s quality sleep. The second area is making sure you’re eating properly. And the third area is that you are having some movement in your day every single day.
Let’s talk about your sleep first. Remember all those things I read off at the beginning of the episode, the complaining, the messy house, the blaming, the to-do list that never gets done. Start paying attention to these physical things like sleep. You will notice that improving. All right. The average person needs to sleep about seven to nine hours a night. And I’ve also read that once you’re over 60, I’m not quite there yet, it becomes six to eight hours. A little bit less. But I know that for years now, I sleep almost exactly seven hours a night most nights and I sleep straight through the night now since I pay more attention to my self-care. It wasn’t always that way. But interestingly enough, since I cut out flour and sugar and alcohol out of my diet completely except for the rare special occasion or holiday, now I sleep straight through the night.
And it’s really interesting because my doctor told me about the time I turned 50, he said, “Oh yeah, it’s very normal to experience trouble sleeping. You’ll probably wake up at two in the morning and you’ll lay there and stress out about things for a couple hours.” Not once did he mention that if I changed my diet, cut out processed food and especially alcohol, you sleep through the night. Isn’t that crazy that they don’t really address the nutritional part of that? We’ll talk more about that later, but do what you need to do to get a good night’s sleep. Okay?
Now, the other part of that is having a good bedtime routine. I’m not going to tell you specifically what to do. Everyone will develop their own bedtime routine. But the very basics of that are to make sure that you’re not eating right before bed. Make sure you’re done with dinner two or three hours before trying to go to sleep. And also make sure you’ve unplugged from any electronics, at least a couple hours before you go to bed and start to wind down.
I only have one child left at home, she’s 13 and I actually go in with her and help her start her bedtime routine because I know how important this is now. So she’s developing that because I’m modeling that for her. One of the benefits of this podcast episode is you’re going to start teaching your kids self-care too, which many of us were not taught this, but you get to change that. You get to learn it for yourself and teach it to your kids too. And what we do is with my daughter, make sure that she’s put away all her iPads and electronics and they aren’t hiding under her bed and so that she gets good sleep for the night too.
All right, now another part of your physical self-care is watching how you eat. Most of us need to eat better. Most people are really not eating optimally. What I mean by eating better, again, I’m not going to give you a specific diet because you will find out what works for you and every body is different. So what works for me won’t work for you. What works for my husband won’t work for anyone else either. There is no magic diet out there that will work for everyone. However, what I can tell you is there is no diet based on self-care, where processed food is included in that diet.
At the very least, the first step you could do for self-care in this area is to cut out all the processed foods you’re eating during the day. That includes sugar and flour. Now, maybe it’s cereal in the morning or protein powders, or if you’re doing some diet where it’s got these shakes in there, all of those processed foods really mess with your hormones, which are the things in control of whether you burn fat or store fat. Processed food messes with that, so let’s get rid of that. Let’s cut that out. That includes energy drinks, juice, pop, coffee drinks, all that stuff. It’s amazing how my life has changed since we cleaned our diet up in that way.
Now, when you cut out processed foods, including sugar, flour, it does take a few weeks. I call that the river of misery. You might have headaches and cravings and all that, but if you’re eating farm, fresh food, especially with healthy fats, those cravings will go away after about six weeks. I can tell you this, I do not have food cravings anymore. It is wonderful. When you get rid of processed food, you start to realize how you really tweaked your hormones over the years. When you get those back in order, you just naturally crave the things that fulfill you. Like I said, takes a few weeks, but you will get there too when you do that.
So then if you cut out processed foods, what’s that leave you with? Well, farm fresh meat. Go to a farm, fill your freezer, buy some chickens, pork, beef, seafood, eggs from pastured chickens. If you’re going to eat dairy products, make sure they’re raw dairy products from a reliable source. Pasteurized dairy is one of the most allergenic foods in America. Because it’s processed, it doesn’t have the enzyme left in it that helps you digest the milk. So most people are lactose intolerant. Raw dairy has the enzyme in it that helps you digest it. So the best thing you could eat from raw dairy is homemade yogurt or Keifer. Again, super simple to incorporate that into your diet. Then a little bit of fresh fruit, a little bit of vegetables, a little bit of grains. That’s it, you guys. Very simple diet. When you cut out all the processed foods, you’re left with just eating real food and you will figure out what amount works for you to maintain your ideal weight.
The third area of taking care of your physical body is movement. You’ve got to get some movement every single day. And I mean very, very basic movement. Again, a lot of people feel like they’re defeated before they even start because they haven’t been to the gym in weeks. So they aren’t even doing the very basics. But I’m telling you a brisk walk for 15 minutes a day will meet your minimum requirement for self-care. I get out for that. I walk about 45 minutes every day, almost any weather. But if the weather is too bad, I will pull out my phone app for yoga and do some yoga. So for you, the minimum is 10, 15 minutes of yoga if you can’t get that 15 minute brisk walk in there. You guys, anyone can do this. Any of you can make time for that very basic self-care. And again, that’s free. It doesn’t mean you have to be training for a marathon or doing CrossFit. If you’re doing those things, that is wonderful, but I’m talking about how most people just skip the very basics. Make sure that you’re getting some movement in your day every day.
Lastly, I want to dive into the fourth area of self-care and this is the area of caring for your mind, your spirit, your energy, your thoughts. For me, this is through thought management. Because I’m a trained mindset coach and I coach a lot of people in this area, this is some area that I have seen the most improvement in my life. It’s one of my biggest accomplishments I’ve had in my life, is to learn how to manage my thoughts, which then manages my feelings, which then makes sure I create the exact results I want in life. And now today I get to coach my clients and my marketing students and the exact same thing. And again, this can be a very simple process for you.
I’m not going to tell you exactly what you need to do. You will develop your own practice, but I can tell you that the best time of day for me to do this that I found with most people, is in the early morning before your day starts, before your mind gets busy, before you’ve got decision fatigue from all the decisions you’ve had to make throughout the day. I’ve done this routine for many years now. I get up about 4:00 or 4:30 in the morning. I spend about an hour taking care of my thought management. Now when I had little kids nursing a baby or toddler, then I did it during nap time. So you might want to give that a try if it’s not feasible for you to be doing this at 4:00 in the morning. When the kids get older though, when they get back in school or they get on a different routine, you can totally get back to doing it before you start your day. It’s just amazing to start your day with a clear head, how productive that makes you feel during the day too.
Also, know that you don’t need a formal practice of meditation or prayer or any of that. You can, you can certainly do those things, but it could just be that you wake up, you go to the area in the house you’re going to do this, and you breathe deeply focusing on breathing in and out for three minutes straight. That’s it. That’s the minimum. That’s free, three minutes out of your day. There’s no reason not to do this. And the benefits are endless.
What I do is I have my breathing practice. It might be about 10 minutes for me, and then I have a notebook I pull out and I start to manage my thoughts. Here’s how I do that though. Our thoughts cause our feelings and our feelings are often what we notice first. So I’ll get up in the morning and I’ll write about what am I feeling that day? Is it anxiety? Is it stress? Is it resentment? Is it joy? Is it excitement? And I’ll just, I’ll write down the feeling and then I’ll ask myself, why am I feeling that way? Like why am I feeling stressed? The answer to that question, why are you feeling that way, is the thought you’re thinking? It is the thought that’s making you feel that way. Maybe it’s stress.
Again, every feeling or emotion that we experience is created by a thought that we’re thinking in our head. It’s not from other people, other people can’t make us feel any certain way. It is that you have a thought about that person or you have a thought about that circumstance and that creates the feeling inside of you. When you learn to be aware of what you’re thinking, then you’re in charge of creating the results you want in life. It’s amazing. Love doing this. This is life changing work you guys. So make a note of the feelings you have and the thoughts creating those feelings and figure out. Take a look at it. Is that going to create the results you want in life? And if you need more help with this, you can bring this to our group coaching calls in Farm Marketing From the Heart, or you can book a one-on-one private session with me. I will help you really learn how to identify what thoughts you’ve got going on. Are they creating the feelings you want in life that will get you the results you want in life? It’s really wonderful when you learn this practice and it is just the foundation of your self-care.
Those are the four areas of self-care. Let me go over them again, your physical body in that you are caring for your sleep, how you eat and you’re getting some movement, and then your mental or spiritual part where you are learning to be really aware of what thoughts you’re thinking and what feelings you’re creating with those thoughts. When you learn to incorporate some attention to each of these four areas for a little bit of time every single day, it is amazing how you will start showing up in your day feeling better and better. But also you’ll treat other people better, whether that’s your employees or your spouse or your kids or people you run into out in the community. You’ll notice you don’t have road rage anymore when you start caring for yourself, so your daily life becomes better and better because you’ve taken care of these four basic needs of self-care.
Now the last thing I want to explain is why most of us are not practicing self-care, even though we know we need to, we hear how important it is. That is because we’re at a time in our world today where people are living with more constant stress and anxiety than ever before. And I did a couple podcast episodes on stress and anxiety. So if you need additional help in that area, be sure to listen to episode number 17 and number 18, all about stress and anxiety and how to stop worrying. I’ll link up to them in the show notes too for this episode. But in our world today, we have so much technology available to us at all times, interrupting us, running our lives, telling us, almost putting thoughts in our heads, stressful thoughts in our heads.
And along with that, we have a lack of focus and a lack of training on mental health or basic care. Just like I’m teaching you here, there’s not a lot of training on this. So people tend to live with more stress and anxiety until they hit bottom and get really sick or their relationships pay a price and then maybe they end up in therapy to try to salvage what they can, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
What happens is we have two parts of our brain, the decision making part that decides what we’re going to do every day and then the survival part of our brain, which is just there to keep us alive. When we are under stress, the survival part of our brain tells us to forego or sacrifice our self-care. All right? It tells us, “Don’t practice self-care because you’re under stress because that part of our brain thinks that the stress will be temporary because it used to be in the past. But in our world today, in the last couple of decades, that has all changed and now we’re living in this constant state of stress, which means our brain is telling us constantly to sacrifice self-care.
So if you’ve been wondering, “Why is it so hard for me to just practice my basic self-care? Why am I not doing it?” It could be that you’re spending way too much of your day in stress and the self-care is the thing that will help you be able to manage your stress and reduce it. So again, I encourage you, make a commitment to yourself, increase your self-care in these four basic areas. Do this every day. I’ve given you very simple ideas here. They won’t take very long at all. If you want more ideas, let me know. I could do a whole podcast episode just on each one of these areas, if that’s helpful for you.
Also, like I said, you can book a one-on-one session or bring this to our group coaching sessions, but at the very least do get the download that will help you pay attention to these areas. That’s at 3cowmarketing.com/selfcare and my one-on-one appointments, which are amazing. I just had a farmer book a 15-week session. In that amount of time, she’s going to transform into a completely different person. 15 weeks of mindset coaching every single week. So look into doing that. That’s at 3cowmarketing.com/workwithme. All right you guys, that’s it for today. You are now totally able to go and create a foundation of self-care so that you can reach every goal and every dream you’ve set in your life. All right? And know that when you don’t practice self-care, that is a dream stealer. It’s going to take all your dreams away and you won’t reach your goals. So just take the little bit of time I’ve outlined here today and we can do it. All right guys, take care, take good self-care. I will see you next time.
Thank you so much for tuning in to today’s episode. For more great resources, check out the profitablemindset.com. See you next time.